#i tell myself that i will return to it
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did I see correctly that you listed at least one Star Wars wip in your post?? say more 👀👀
Your eyes do not deceive you.
You may or may not have seen a work by me named "Lonely Padawan" (which is also listed here).
"Lonely Padawan" is the core work of this AU, and all the world-building aspects of this AU were actually written out for the first time for this work.
The celebration of ‘peace and prosperity’ — that is what the public relations council said the Parade of Community was about. A day when the new King was elected on the throne of the Palace, when the High Queen blessed the planet with her visit, and when all disputes and debates were set aside in favour of the commonwealth. Fancy words to cover the events, Chilled always thought of it, recalling his own misadventures on that terrifying day. And Chilled understood, really: people of Siko needed that kind of reassurance after decades of conflicts.
“—And now the dark age of our war-tired planet is over!” The crowd was cheering and waving the bright colourful flags. “The time has come for the discords of the past to be forgotten and the new life of kindness and freedom to begin!”
After all, Jeremy was himself bitter when people elected him to lead the planet. “This all feels so kriffing wrong,” were the first words Chilled received from him after Jeremy’s speech on the coronation. In their rare holocalls the young king seemed exhausted more often than not, praising his wife for her being awesome or letting out all the frustration and stress.
Chilled didn’t really acknowledge the moment they became friends; maybe it was their close age, maybe the shared near death experience kicked in and bonded them. Or maybe it was their personalities being compatible with one another.
To the same AU belong these files:
SW!AU Cheesy, Chilled, Order 66
“Where are we going?” Cheesy’s voice was quieter than a whisper.
“You’ll see in a minute, my young padawan,”
“Ah, Chilled, what a pleasure,” “We thought your duties completely tore you apart from our little meetings.”
“Senator.” “Let me introduce to you my companion,” “this young man is my padawan, Cheesy.”
“Tay?..” “Who’s that?”
“It’s Chilled!” “Come on in,” “there’s everybody besides you and Apollo.”
“He was still at crèche when we were leaving,”
“How’s it going?” “How’s the green frog?”
“Still talks backwards.”
This is some sort of flashback
SW!AU Ep-1 (SupDog)
Two figures were present in the cell.
One was standing still, blocking the light coming from the exit. Its arm was raised and the fingers were pointing in the other figure direction.
The second figure was floating in the air with its hands on its neck.
“I may not be useful this much, Count,” Steve managed to say through the Force grab, “I’m a disappointment to my planet, I’m afraid.” He tried to reach the floor with his leg but miserably failed. “I can only offer some therapy, I got the diploma… If you need it of course…”
“I like your sense of humor, Senator,” Dooku grinned at him, loosening the grip, “But my interest is not focused on your planet in the first place right now.”
Steve smiled weakly, “Oh Count, I’m blushing. You could’ve just asked me out if you wante…” He felt the air tightening around his neck again.
“Oh… I s-see… You like p-power play…” Something said inside his head that it was a bad idea.
“Enough,” Dooku thundered and the second after that Steve felt himself lose consciousness.
A fun little scene about Senator Suptic being captured by Separatists. Guess who's the valiant knight that will save him?
Lost Papers (side-fic/sequel idea)
This one is actually more of an idea than a draft. Its main idea is to help Knight Chaos and Padawan BlueNips with bonding experience.
#private recording 1#allianettemie5 original#allianettemie5 ask#this is my sw au summary#it's laying deeper inside the drawer#i tell myself that i will return to it#one day...
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Hmmmm…monkey
#sorry guys I’m on a mythology kick rn#I also watched legos monkie kid despite hating the Lego style and had a lotta fun actually can’t wait to draw the characters in my style 👍#journey to the west#lego monkie kid#lmk sun wukong#sun wukong#so was anybody gonna tell me that there’s mpreg in journey to the west#or was I just supposed to find that out in the same chapter its revealed that sun wukong is a pro choice activist and abortion water exists#jttw truly is THE template for all modern tropes huh#digital art#my art#the cure to burnout is rest and media exploration#also have fun :)#watching black myth sun wukong playthroughs and desperately trying to convince myself that I’m not a furry#they really said return to monke and meant it
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i think the thing that really gets me about pre-canon durge is their absolute sense of duty, and their utter isolation outside of the cult of bhaal.
most of the cultists seem eager to see durge upon their return, and one even says they were the first to feed him flesh. gortash tells them of an exhibition of a bhaalspawn's corpse and another bhaalspawn's creations and durge immediately plans to attack the hall of wonder to recover them. they then apparently entrust said bhaalspawn's corpse to sceleritas fel to "restore" through taxidermy. they deride orin for her artistry with corpses explicitly because "bhaal will never care" and because orin "[does] not understand lord bhaal".
even their infamous prayer for forgiveness is framed around their absolute submission to bhaal's plans, and the crime that requires forgiveness? admiring his rival's chosen. that's one line, and the next three paragraphs are swearing to carry out his plan exactly as they've been told to, all for his forgiveness.
hell, even their room reinforces this. orin has barely touched the place aside from installing her mother's corpse and her manifesto - and that is some of the only decoration. what was it before orin, an empty room with skulls, a bed, a desk, some chests and a wardrobe?
the durge didn't have any semblance of a life outside of bhaal, aside from gortash. and is it any surprise? the only other hint they ever had a life outside of the cult is the flashback of kid durge murdering their adopted family, all thanks to their father's urging.
bhaal even tries to force them back into isolation after they've been tadpoled by forcing them to kill alfira, and then trying to force a durge who resists him to kill their lover. if they continue resisting, bhaal kills them. bhaal will not allow them to have a life outside of him and, if it weren't for jergal, he would've succeeded.
#bg3 spoilers#the dark urge#honestly writing this all out it's weird that bhaal doesn't try to kill your party when you're at the temple#it'd be perfectly in line with everything else he'd done to durge up until that moment#also just makes me think of how sceleritas will tell an evil durge that the worst thing they've ever done#is giving a beggar a coin without asking for anything in return#ymmv and everyone has their own headcanons but pre canon durge was not a happy or enthusiastic participant as far as canon shows#which is reinforced by gortash saying you've always been better at controlling your urges than orin!#why would durge bother to do that when 'all father wants is death in droves death in numbers'!#honestly i think it's v reasonable to think that durge could've been tempted into bane worship given what little we know of them pre canon#anyway haven't played evil durge myself so very curious abt any insights from that route#baldur's gate
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We do a little rendering
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#siffrin#isat fanart#can you tell#can you tell that the brainrot has taken me#in the feeling bad about myself bc I aint gonna make things as good as this stage of the brain rote#tis ok tho itll go away and my hubris will return
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Ignorance is bliss
Batman 48 got me feeling feelings again goddamit
#tw suicide#been telling myself to post more lest tumblr snipes me for being a bot again. so. have some brainrot#Batman#joker#amnesiac joker#Batman 48#also#batjokes#I guess. I did drop some hearts in there#get yourself a boo that threatens to kill himself should you return to the status quo!#Scott Snyder#Greg Capullo#batman 2016#Jack napier#John doe#I refuse to call him j*ck wh*te.
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#a man who DESERVES A SLICE OF PIE
#mobius#owen wilson#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki#loki spoilers#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs#for y'alls sake some ep4 moments instead of a hundred gifs of him being silly and kind over the course of the series but#please stop writing characters to exist solely for conflict when they don't have a leg to stand on ;;;;;#so it's fine to get a jump on refilling the straw machine while the timelines are in constant danger but pie during a break crosses a line#okay sure tell me more 💀💀#of COURSE he has coping mechanisms when the comfort and kindness he naturally extends is rarely returned#free will for all utilized as someone else says?? idc i wouldn't look myself up either and he shouldn't be pressured to#she's only even able to yell at him bc some of the first things he's done since pushing past brainwashing have been saving her life 🙃#ANYWAY peace and love on earth when the dilf of all time is a sweetheart who takes responsibility for his actions 🥰💖#marvel#loki s2 spoilers
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@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.
so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.
a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.
and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.
so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.
beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.
because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.
and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.
and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.
and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.
people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.
it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.
#necrotic festerings#batfamily#batfamily meta#dc comics#fandom meta#fan studies#fanon vs canon#i deleted paragraphs of this to try to make it shorter. it failed btw.#anyway i got into comics when i was like 12 with the dark knight returns#and if i hadn't been into this medium for a decade i don't think i would be able to get into it as an adult so i get it#bc i'm trying to get into marvel comics and fuck ME am i confused as fuck.#do marvel comics have like. an equivalent to crisis events?#is the ultimates like their version of the new-52? i do NOT know#it's so hard and daunting so trust me i get it#if you never wanna pick up a comic god i respect you you're so right this is fucking miserable#i want to live and let live in fandom but *god* i'm struggling here#i used to bend to the will of fanon fun fact#i wrote my share of tim and jason fics playing into fanon tropes. god i hate them *now* but they did fucking numbers.#and i used to care more about getting attention in fandom than being accurate#i've matured now. it's why i write on anonymous so much to remind myself this should be for me.#anyway i could do a character study on every batfam member as fanon vs canon#ESPECIALLY tim and jason. i know so much about them trust me.#jason todd fans annoyed me so much i once sat and read almost every fucking jason comic. i didn't even like him.#but i tell you what i know that man and he will never leave my top five characters on league of comics.#this is so long. is anyone going to read all of this.#if you do you're a fucking trooper i'm saluting you.#this isn't even all of my thoughts i had to condense myself.#bc i also have thoughts about how this means some characters no longer get to exist outside of the batfam#because they only exist as a member of the unit#ergo we have very little current content of helena bertinelli or onyx adams or duke thomas
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I can imagine anything guy image: “I can spiral into tears and convince myself I’m the worst person alive over anything”
#it’s soooooo easy#‘hey that thing you said was kind of insensitive’ -> feel awful and apologize immediately ->#try to explain that I’m a flawed human being in hopes that they don’t hate me as much -> realize I’m using it as an excuse -> feel worse ->#want to explain that I feel bad in hopes that it makes my apology sound genuine -> realize if I do I’m starting a pity party ->#Devil on my shoulder says that I SHOULD start a pity party bc then people have to console me even though I’m the one who fucked up ->#realize that if the devil on my shoulder thinks that that some part of me must think that. thinking that is kind of terrible ->#feel like I’m terrible -> start crying -> realize that crying will turn it into a pity party anyway ->#realize that I don’t want to feel like I’m terrible. that I do actually want people to console me -> realize I don’t deserve it ->#admit that I am truly horrible for trying to turn my fuck up into a way to make people comfort me ->#post about it on tumblr to vent (?) -> realize now I’m starting a pity party in front of almost 8k people ->#realize that makes me even worse. -> break down in tears feeling sorry for myself when. again. IM the one who fucked up#repeat at and slight inconvenience or mistake. feel like a piece of shit forever :)#it’s a flawless system. if someone sees me struggling and tries to console me I can redirect that to confirm that I’m a horrible person#try and tell myself that I’m spiraling bc of mental illness -> that’s an excuse ->#excuse = horrible person bc I’m not willing to own up to my mistakes -> return to spiral
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BNHA manga spoilers btw
I have smtn to say ab bkdk like ok
I don't understand how ppl can't see it but ok each person has their own views and I get it but let's be so fucking serious here.
if I was ochaco or whoever you shipped w izuku and I was dating him I'd be so fucking jealous of katsuki coz????? what the actual fuck are you talking ab???? and like the opposite too like Kiri and Kats?????? my boyfriend died for his 'best friend' twice like???????? what have you done for me?
he saved up for 8 YEARS to get a suit for izuku??? do you think that's normal behaviour????
#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#bkdk#mha bkdk#boku no hero academia#bnha#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#they're so gay your honour#like the jealousy that would come from this????#your lives have revolved around each other since you were 4#idk how i could possibly insert myself in there as a partner????#and like romantic partners are supposed to be the most imp people in your lives and youre telling me im fighting w your bestie that you have#a wejrd homoerotic relationship with????? people break up w their irl partners for less than that#the whole black whip awakening???#izukus little cant breathe moment when he sees katsuki dead???#oh i can go on for dayyssss#kacchan and the others#ok i see you#i know what you are#also i think kiri deserves better coz i feel like he does a lot for kats#like a lot a lot#but its not the same in return???? idk how to say it#again i havent watched past s3 and all yhe info i have are from spoilers but???? i dont think theres a lot going on?#im not including this in the post coz i could be wrong and ill accept that
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*season 2 of Wednesday, the morning of another school dance at Nevermore*
*Wednesday and Enid walk down the hallway, they run into Weems*
Weems: Miss Sinclair, Miss Addams! Good morning! Are you two all set for the dance tonight?
Enid, trying to hide the fact that Wednesday and her are in a relationship and are going to the dance together because she thinks Weems wouldn't approve: Uuuh... yes! Yes, we are, Ma'am! We already have... boy dates... uh... I mean... we have boys... we are going to the dance with.
Wednesday: Uuuh... yes... exactly! Male individuals... who asked us to go to the dance with them... and we said yes. We agreed to go to the dance... with males. Who asked us. For we are... females.
Weems, who's a lesbian herself and was the first person to pick up on Wenclair: That's... great! Oh, by the way, this year, there will be a competition where the students can vote for "best dressed couple". We want to get as many couples as possible to participate in this competition, so I took the liberty to sign the two of you up for this. I hope that's all right with you!
Weems: *smiles at them and then walks past them*
Enid and Wednesday: *freeze and then look at each other*
#yes weems will return in season two#source: i have to keep telling myself that#wednesday#wednesday incorrect quotes#incorrect wednesday quotes#wednesday addams#jenna ortega#enid sinclair#emma myers#larissa weems#gwendoline christie#wenclair#incorrect wenclair quotes#wednesday netflix#wednesday on netflix#wlw#sapphic#lesbian#lgbtq
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I posted this on priv last week but imagine being an eichiP. Falling in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream, an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. And then in !! he becomes an idol colonialist
#im removing thevother half of what i wrote i think its funny on its own#will return to this#maybe#honestly i couldnt tell you what ill do in an hour i have stopped expecting things from myself#at most a fragmented thought ill forget#but ive been journaling and eichi was brought up. i think thats funny#im like a mom on the brink of a breakdown at work whose kid is also causing trouble
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I don't draw all that regularly anymore, but since it is Spocktober, please accept a handful of Spocks (and one Kirk).
#disclaimer: not all of these were drawn during spocktober#don't look too closely at the one on the red paper. he's a little dubious. kinda looks romulan. at least he's also the hardest to see...#also jim is more realistic than the others exclusively because every time i tried to draw him more stylized i'd be like 'who is that man'#he was NOT recognizable. i guess you could tell him by his hair swoop. but. idk. he looked bad to me.#so i was like ok. fine. i'll just stare intently at a picture of william shatner the whole time. and this is what i got in return.#and y'know? i'll take it. i'm pleased with him. it all worked out in the end.#bones isn't here entirely because he intimidates me. besides i doubt anyone can draw him as well as forecast0ctopus can#also the colors are random. i just have a pack of colored paper that i have no other use for so it's become fodder for my rare sketching#star trek#tos#spock#james t kirk#star trek the original series#spocktober#i suppose#don't expect art often btw. if i try to become an art blog i will hate myself. it is guaranteed. not that anyone's watching me that closely
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still losing my mind over my rook. in a bad way as in i cannot for the life of me figure her out. i have been so deeply thrown off by the mercar foundling military family backstory that it has literally broken my brain. i can’t reconcile that and the character that’s been in my head since we learned about the faction origins. i think i might have to go veil jumper or crow or even grey warden and return to the Mercar of my dreams once i know the story and thus have a better handle on who i want my canon rook to be
#i also wish i had a better idea of who I want to romance first but i dont…. im leaning davrin and have been for a long time#but i might find myself wanting something else once im in the game#i have a crow rook in my head for lucanis#so for Davrin I will do warden or veil jumper#and my mercar that I return to will be for neve….#I can’t even begin thinking about the possibility of mourn watchers and lords of fortune#ITS TOO MUCH!!!!!#can you tell I have OCD LMFAO….#mine.txt
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assorted quotes from the introduction of Monstrous Children and Childish Monsters: Essays on Cinema’s Holy Terrors
#ok only the introduction of this book is good all these essays are BAD#writing notes on the pilot flashback/jess' death and once again ruminating on sam as the story's original monster#sam was THE og spn creepy child. horror's monstrous-child archetype. the holy terror#finalgirlsamwinchester is just a ruse this is the sam + horror trope i'm most interested in#does anyone get me. he's regan from the exorcist. the archetypal child as the entry point drawing evil into the family home#the first quote really encapsulates how both john and later dean view sam -> the 'conflation of innocence and fear'#innocence/inhumanity -> requiring control. monitoring. containment -> 'i want you to watch out for sammy okay' (2.01)#'to find our innocence we must destroy it; we return to the child within in order to kill it'#also. 'monsters are monstrous because they always escape human comprehension'#^ the mantra i'm gonna tell myself next time i see someone totally misunderstanding sam lmao#ok saving the rest for an actual analysis#sam monstrosity studies#lit recs#j.txt
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last day at parents house and i am so sad, i don’t want to leave :(
#— ai rambles#this is my special safe place where i always feel like a little girl no matter how old i am#and :( just :( i don’t want to leave yet#esp when i look at mom and she is barely holding her tears#and sometimes she tells me ‘why don’t you come back here’ …… and part of me wants to return#bc :’) yk :’) my parents are getting old :’) and i want to spend more time with them :’)#the other day i was watching some records from like 10+ years ago and i was like damn :’) they rly did grow old#it hurts my chest :’) i love them sm#i am making myself even more sad now ok i stfu
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okeyyy...i know this acc is preddy much good and dead, rest in peace all my dearly beloved tgcfmdzs mutuals and followers who moved on to smth else in the yrs since mdzs ended, ....but i still have a big enough active audience methinks soooo i wanted 2 promote a korean novel thats REEALLY unappreciated in the eng community ITS SO GOOD its my favourite novel atm and i really want it to catch on w western audiences bcuz i swear it has the potential to be as big as mxtxs novels were if given the opportunity to blow up...
RETURN OF THE MOUNT HUA SECT (aka, officially, RETURN OF THE BLOSSOMING BLADE) is an action, fantasy, comedy korean novel by BIGA on Naver, with a webcomic by STUDIO LICO on Webtoon
THE WEBCOMIC IS CURRENTLY ON BREAK AFTER THE COMPLETION OF ITS FIRST “SEASON” (will be returning sometime mid 2023) AND THE NOVEL IS STILL ON GOING WITH 1494 CHAPTERS (as of 4/15/2023)....if uve read tgcf in its entirety pls dont let that chp count scare you..rotmhs is a very bingeable novel... while rotmhs doesnt have an official english translation, the ongoing fan tl has 379 chapters translated (as of 4/15/2023) [LINKS PROVIDED BELOW]
MY SYNOPSIS: the story follows the main protagonist chung myung, a member of the mount hua sect who was formerly known as the legendary ‘plum blossom sword saint’, reincarnates into the body of a beggar child a hundred years into the future after dying following the beheading of the demonic cult leader, chun ma, who slaughtered his clan members as well as countless other sects during the war. when he wakes, he discovers that his once proud and respected sect has fallen into ruin during the century following its defeat. chung myung, hiding his identity as a fabled hero from the past, rejoins the mount hua sect under the guise of being nothing but a beggar to help restore the mount hua sect to its former greatness while making friends as well as enemies along the way..
the official (webtoon) synopsis:
When Cheongmyeong of the Mount Hua Sect awakens a hundred years in the future, his last memories are of a bloody battle against the Leader of the Demonic Cult, the evil Cheonma. The battle almost saw the end of the Ten Great Sects of ancient China, when Cheongmyeong ended the hard-fought struggle by striking down Cheonma. Soon after, he succumbed to his wounds, filled with regret at their pyrrhic victory. All is not lost, however, as he awakens to his second chance at life. Shocked to find his beloved Mount Hua Sect reduced to a mere shadow of itself in the present day, Cheongmyeong embarks on a journey to restore Mount Hua to its former glory.
while the official synopsis does make it seem like the story is going to be heavy and action focused, the novel itself is more comedic than its led on to be and its action scenes are rlly fun and exhilarating to read..
the main cast are extremely likeable and their relationship w each other is very funny and heartwarming... that being said i feel like if uve come from any of the popular danmei novels and r interested in reading rotmhs (PLEASE BE INTERESTED) i feel like i shuld mention that THERE IS NO ROMANCE IN THIS NOVEL... its not a BL, theres no romantic connotations between any of the main characters, this novel is more focused on found family and the bonds between friends than anything BUT PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT LET THE LACK OF ROMANCE DISSUADE YOU..
AIIISSHH THIS IS GETTING LONG ENOUGH soo basically here are links 2 where u can read ROTMHS please consider reading it PLEASE bc im sick as hell of not having enough fics or fanart of it or ppl to talk to abt it with..feel like im rting art on my priv to brick walls....!!!!!!!!!!
(official) NAVER (1494+ chapters, korean) https://series.naver.com/novel/detail.series?productNo=4130558&isWebtoonAgreePopUp=true
(official) WEBTOON (73 chapters, english) https://www.webtoons.com/en/action/return-of-the-blossoming-blade/list?title_no=2849&page=9
FANTRANSLATION (379+, english) https://skydemonorder.com/projects/return-of-the-mount-hua-sect
one last also before let yall have at it, if u’ve read the webcomic and dont feel like rereading the entire novel up to the webcomic stopping point, jump to chapter 117 on the fantranslation.. chp117 is right where the webcomic leaves off👍
OKAYYY HAVE FUNNNN PLEASE READ RETURN OF THE MOUNT HUA SECT PLEEEASEE SHARE THIS POST W EVERYBODY OR ILL KILL MYSELF IDK YAYYYYY YIPPEEEEE ROTMHS SUPREMACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if u do end up reading and liking it please god..talk to me about it..... im literally shaking scratching my neck rocking in a corner crying sobbing sniffling snotting
#PINNED POST#PLEASE GIVE IT A SHOT IM BEGGING YALL...IVE FALLEN TO MY KNEES AND AM GRASPING YALLS PANTS BEGGING#ive never done a novel promotion before so i think yall can tell how desperate the situation is..#tagging this w mxtx tags so it reaches a broader audience yes im being annoying idgaf just read this stupid fucking novel already#화산귀환#華山歸還#return of the mount hua sect#rotmhs#return of the blossoming blade#rotbb#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#tgcf#tian guang ci fu#墨香铜臭#天官赐福#svsss#人渣反派自救系统#if this flops ill drive myself into a river and yall'll never see or hear from me again#wrote this all at once in a delusional trance in under 30mins so ill go back and fix this and make it a little more coherent in the future..
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